My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
