he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
