So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
