hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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