no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
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I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
So apparently I’m into choking now
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