I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
