I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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