how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
A+ Viking dick
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
