So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
