I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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