and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize