Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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