I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
