To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
