My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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