my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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