So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
