So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
