I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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