Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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