The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
