hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
