I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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