"it" just moved
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
