Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
