My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
