yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
