Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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