I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I licked your asshole in confidence.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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