for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The air taste purple.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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