windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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