No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
