You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis