she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
