Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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