butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i've created a new STD.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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