His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
