reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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