Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
