my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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