My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
