Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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