This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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