just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am available for nakedness
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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