I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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