dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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