Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
