She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
