why im i the only drunk person in the library?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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