And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
