so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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