I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
