I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
