Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If i come over, it means nothing
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
