I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
