She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
