I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
