Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she pinky promised me she was 18
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
