When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i out mim tonsoeep
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