I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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