No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
