My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
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