This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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