did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
