My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
