I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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